


A better tomorrow

by unepical



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, sdr2 chapter 5 but nagito lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:07:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29936643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unepical/pseuds/unepical
Summary: While looking for the bombs, Hajime finds a jammed door, but manages to open it.He finds one very shocked Komaeda attempting to set up his own murder.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 25
Kudos: 166





	A better tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen this written before but I imagine it going really differently so I'm adding my spin on this popular au!! :)
> 
> I might add another two chapters in the future if I find the inspiration!
> 
> TW: Obviously Nagito tries to kill himself in the fifth chapter, there's pretty graphic descriptions of his injuries, which are self inflicted. Also very mild emeto cw!! Stay safe!

Everyone was searching the various islands for Komaeda’s so called bomb when Hajime made his way over to the fifth island. The others were scattered across the other islands, trying desperately to comb through every nook and cranny that the lucky student would have hidden the explosive. They had a little under half an hour.  _ Half an hour!  _

Hajime hadn’t slept properly since he’d gotten here, but the second the white-haired teen had ramped up his antics, he hadn’t slept at all, getting a few fitful hours a night at most, lying awake in paralysing fear for the rest. He knew he wasn’t the only one, paranoia rampant in amongst the students, the pressure in the increasingly depleting group only hightening after each trial.

And now with this? He was fucking  _ terrified.  _ He couldn’t believe Komaeda would even do something like this. After the first trial and the breakdown that occurred there, the other boy had seemingly started to become more and more stable. Hajime was ready to  _ forgive  _ him for what happened until he pulled the ‘I read that in a book!’ bullshit. Hajime was  _ sure  _ at least some of that was true. There was no way the other wasn’t that messed up without some serious trauma attached to him, but it didn’t matter now. Komaeda had pulled the pin on purpose this time, and while something was clearly  _ clearly  _ wrong with him, Hajime couldn’t do anything about that right now, not when his life and literally everyone else’s on this goddamn island’s lives were in danger.

  
The closest building was the monokuma warehouse, Hajime finding his way to it and twisting the door handle- it wasn’t lockable. It wouldn’t budge. His stomach dropped-  _ this could be it.-  _ Komaeda said they wouldn’t find them for a reason. The bastard must’ve barricaded the door, so, very graciously, the brunette body slammed himself into the door. Something within him told him he had to get in there, and right now a bruised body was far preferable to being dead. Again and again he slammed himself into the door, each time it let just a little more. He had to get in there before the bombs went off, or he was gone for. 

Finally the door went, Hajime’s entire body throbbing, frustrated and pained tears still in his eyes as he stormed in. Though, there weren't bombs. 

Blood was splattered on the floor, knife raised as Komaeda fucking Nagito himself looked up at Hajime, eyes shocked and wide. His mouth was covered with duct tape, a white knuckled grip on a cord, leading up to a spear, which Hajime realised with a jolt was the missing one from earlier. 

Instantly, after being frozen up for a few seconds, the first thing Hajime went for the spear, ripping it out of Komaeda’s grip and lowering it, tossing it to the side. 

  
“What the everloving  _ fuck  _ Komaeda.” Hajime seethed, more out of shock than anything, the lucky student’s still wide eyes locked on him, the knife still in his hand, blood seeping out of the already extensive wounds all over his legs and arm, the other looking as though he was about to bring it down again. Obviously he couldn’t speak, and he seemed far too surprised to do anything other than stare, Hajime taking the opportunity to try and grapple the knife out of his hands, the other’s grip far stronger than it should have been, especially since he’d probably be in a shit load of pain right now.

“I’m trying to  _ help you!” _ Hajime snarled, desperately trying to claw the knife from his hands. Though, this seemed entirely self-inflicted. An elaborate suicide? Of course, if this was part of some intricate and remarkably fucked up plan then obviously Komaeda wouldn’t want him to interfere, a strangled cry coming from the other, muffled by the duct tape as Hajime finally pried the knife free, tossing it over by the spear. He wanted to throw up as he took in the scene, Komaeda’s legs utterly ruined, along with the arm that had been previously holding the spear, vicious and deep cuts running along them. Hajime felt sick. 

Obviously too exhausted from the struggle, Komaeda lay there, panting. It wasn’t as though he could get away, spindly legs too cut up to support him, still tied up.

Hesitantly, Hajime reached for the duct tape, thoughts muddy. He needed to be thinking of the bombs.  _ The bombs.  _ Something about how Komaeda was set up seemed as though he  _ intended  _ to be found like this. That wouldn’t be possible if the bomb went off. He needed answers, but at the same time, all he could see the look of utter resignation and shock in Komaeda’s muddled face.

Then… tears? They seemed to unintentionally run down the lucky student’s pale face, said teen clearly unaware that he was crying. Hajime was scared and angry and his whole body was rushing with adrenaline, but it was slowly dissipating with how dismal the other seemed.

“I’m going to take the tape off, okay?” Hajime said, unsure of himself, a plan starting to slowly form in his head, Komaeda weakly nodding as the tanned boy took the edge of the tape and peeled it off, the luckster audibly gasping for air, coughing a few times

“Komaeda. I’m going to have to lift you and take you to my cabin where I can patch you up, then you are going to tell me what the  _ hell  _ is going on.”

“Why.” He croaked, voice utterly destroyed, probably after screaming so much, most likely not able to speak more than a few words

“You just tried to kill yourself. You clearly can’t be alone, especially after the shit you’ve pulled. And I don’t trust the others enough to have self control” 

“I-” Komaeda decided to keep his mouth shut, Hajime untying his ankles, slinging the other’s uninjured arm over his shoulders, holding him upright as they awkwardly stumbled out of the warehouse, on a backway to the main islands. The two watched as the rest of the group followed one another across the bridge. 

“The bombs,” Komaeda rasped

“What about them?”

“Fake.” He said simply, unable to get out more, wheezing a few broken chuckles

Hajime couldn’t help but bark a dark laugh, not at all amused “Of course they are. That’s so you.” 

Komaeda just smiled, eyes half-lidded in pain.

Once the brunette was sure the coast was clear, they hobbled lamely back down to the cabins, Hajime constantly looking behind them. The white-haired boy seemed far too close to passing out to worry about that, Hajime deciding to try and lay his lanky form on the brunette's bed, Komaeda groaning a little in return, but far too lethargic to do anything else, eyes drifting shut.

Now, Hajime had no idea how long the other was going to be asleep for, or in this very dopey state, so he sprinted to the Rocket Punch market, desperately sweeping up as many medical materials he could find and stuffing them into a shopping bag, getting back as fast as he possibly could… though..

“Hinata-kun…?” A sleepy voice. Nanami. 

Fuck fuck _ fuck!  _ He couldn’t deal with this! He had an attempted murderer and now an attempted fucking suicide case in his room and he  _ needed  _ to get back. The stream of profanities just kept running as he stood there, the shorter girl blinking 

  
“We found out the bombs were fake… I think…” She mumbled “I think you need to be somewhere, right? You seem rushed” 

“R-right! I mean, no! I don’t! I just needed some stuff for my cabin!” Hajime squeaked, Nanami looking at him in her signature nonplussed way. 

“Alright then… Just be careful, Hinata-kun, Komaeda-kun is still out there and the bombs might have been a distraction…I think. He could have something bigger coming.” Nanami said in her usual vague and disjointed way, Hajime nodded, though he could feel his knees shaking, his hands threatening to as well, all of his muscles tight, whole body going into flight or fight mode. 

Taking a deep breath, the brunette tried to get his breathing under control, waving Nanami off and speed walking anxiously back to the other boy, opening the door to see a still a pretty incapacitated Komaeda, who seemed pretty out of it, his eyes barely open as he shifted his stare over to Hajime, though it was weak, a small groan sounding from him

  
“Ah… my saviour” Komaeda huffed out with a considerable amount of effort, though Hajime could feel the sarcasm dripping off it, so, trying desperately to keep his pride intact and his legs from collapsing, the brown-haired teen sat down and grabbed the bandages.   
  


“I’m gonna need to take your pants and jacket off,” Hajime said firmly “I need to bandage your legs and arm before they get infected”

“Heh… It’s not like… I could resist.” Komaeda scoffed bitterly, Hajime swallowing as he reached for the lucky student’s belt buckle, pulling his jeans down, the other boy gasping a little when he ran over the cuts, doing the same when the brunette took off his jacket.

God it was disgusting.  _ Hajime wanted to throw up. _ Blood oozed out of them, lazily dripping down his legs and arms. He could deal with this feeling  _ later.  _ Right now he had to do this.

“This is going to hurt.” He grimaced, putting his gloves on and trying the best he could to be gentle. Komaeda wasn’t a good person, but this would  _ hurt like hell _ , so he really did his best, though with the whimpering cries the other was trying so hard to hold back, ‘being gentle’ wasn’t going to do all that much.

Once they were clean, Komaeda was panting, face even more pale than it usually was, eyes haunted, seemingly unable to speak. Hajime couldn’t help feel the spark of pity, though he couldn’t do anything about that right now, getting the gauze out of the bag

“Worst of it is done. Sorry” Hajime apologised, trying his best to wrap the gauze around the still sloppily bleeding cuts, Komaeda wincing at points, but obviously not in whatever pain he was in before. Finally, the tanned boy finished, both of them clearly exhausted, though the lacerations weren’t visible anymore. Both Komaeda’s jacket and pants were ruined, so he sat there in his boxers and shirt, looking utterly hollow

“... You should have left me there.” Komaeda breathed 

“I’m  _ not  _ hearing this right now. Lie down and sleep. Please.” Hajime said, voice laced with desperation “If you think I would have left you to fucking  _ kill yourself  _ then you’re delirious.”

“I… wouldn’t be surprised if… I was,” Komaeda mumbled, chucklin, running his fingers over the bandages “...Hurts.”

“Go to sleep.” Hajime replied half-heartedly, gently nudging Komaeda into the bed. The other had no strength left in him, so he reluctantly seemed to comply, gingerly and very slowly bringing the covers around him, sighing as Hajime handed him a glass of water, the other accepting it and sipping at it, handing it back and falling back into the pillow, eyes fluttering shut.

They stayed that way, Hajime sitting on the edge of the bed and Komaeda lying there, breathing evening out into the lull of sleep. 

The same couldn’t be said for the tanned boy, who was absolutely distraught. His mind was buzzing, he felt sick and scared and so  _ so  _ tired all at the same time. Then there was some absolutely overpowering sense of relief. Komaeda wasn’t one to back out from things. He would have  _ died  _ if Hajime hadn’t gotten there as soon as he did. It was just a matter of  _ luck. _ Of course, but this time around the white-haired boy had seemed genuinely shocked. He hadn’t wanted Hajime to stop him. He’d wanted for this to have worked. It scared him; That scared him more than anything. Once the other was able to walk again, would he just try again? They’d have to talk… about everything. 

He knew that he was hated for his reserve course status, but even then, when he’d tried to seek out Komaeda to try and spend time with him and work out why he hated him so much, the other had dropped the aggressive act. He’d been back to his normal self, wistfully telling Hajime to go spend time with the others instead of him.

With a dull feeling in his gut, he realised that would have been the last time they spoke before his death if Hajime hadn’t stumbled on him. He didn’t feel happy. He didn’t feel even at all okay. But he was relieved, looking over and seeing that chest rising and falling.  _ Alive.  _ He was alive and so were all of them.

God knows how long past before Hajime eventually found himself drifting off too, the exhaustion overtaking the adrenaline, laying next to Komaeda, too tired to question if it was okay or not. Too tired to even think about how this would seem to anyone else or the ethics of it all. He was so tired.

He hadn’t intended to fall asleep, but Hajime found himself waking up, god knows how much longer later, not at all feeling refreshed. His eyes cracking open, he found a face framed with fluffy hair staring down at him, eyes definitely no longer glazed with pain

“Hello, Reserve-kun” Komaeda said coldly. Instantly, Hajime found himself scrambling up out of the covers, already annoyed

“Jesus christ” He panted “Don’t do that!” 

“I’ll do what I’d like, thank you.” The lucky student scoffed, Hajime frowning and pushing himself off the bed. Komaeda was still mostly in the same position, his injured arm laying limply by his side, blood spotting the bandages fractionally, the same with his legs, which had been tucked up a little so the other could sit up

“Pretty nice treatment towards someone who  _ saved your life,”  _ Hajime growled, crossing his arms indignantly

“I’m not too sure if you remember,  _ Reserve-kun, _ I clearly was  _ trying  _ to kill myself.” Komaeda said, somehow with even more tone than Hajime 

“And you're keeping up with the reserve course shit?”

“Of course, you’re the only person on this island who comes close to how utterly disgusting I am, you deserve to at least be aware of your status.” Komaeda leered, “It’s almost despairing fitting, someone like you coming to save scum like me. Someone who doesn’t even have an inkling of talent stopping a plan so meticulously set up.”

“I’m glad I did too.” Hajime cut in. 

“So noble” Komaeda cooed, Hajime almost snarled in response. It was wrong to wish he was back to the dopey version the white-haired teen was only a few hours ago, but  _ god  _ he was making it hard not to. He had to change the other’s dressings, but he really didn’t want to speak more than absolutely necessary. It looked like it was crawling into nighttime, the sky blood orange. 

Hajime couldn’t keep going in these circles like this. Komaeda was still very badly injured, but he needed to get up to the dining hall so he wouldn’t seem suspicious. 

“Look, just yes or no, can you walk?” Hajime asked, Komaeda seeming slightly taken aback by the question

  
“Ah, no. I’m barely able to move!” He chirped, smiling brightly. 

“Right. I’m gonna need to redo your dressings, turn around” The brunette said, glad that for once he got a straight answer 

Komaeda wordlessly swiveled around, Hajime unwinding the blood splattered bandages and wincing at the cuts all down his legs. They’d clotted somewhat now, blood no longer oozing out of them, but they were still incredibly fresh. The bile rose again in Hajime’s throat

“Disgusting, huh?”

“Komaeda… why did you do this to yourself?” Hajime gagged as the smell of blood hit him

“I don’t think a talentless nobody like you would understand.” He quipped, watching intently as the other wrapped the gause back around his horrifically mutilated legs, gingerly tying the bandages.

“I want to understand. I don’t want you to try again.” Hajime pleaded, angry tears springing to his eyes, overwhelmed with the sick feeling and absolutely everything else

“If it makes you feel better, my luck clearly doesn’t want me to die quite yet, so I’ll give you my word I won’t attempt this again. Besides! My plan is ruined, all thanks to you!” Komaeda smiled widely, tucking himself back into the covers, all of his wounds now patched up. 

“Okay.” He knew Komaeda was angry at him, furious even. It was thinly veiled in his usual mannerisms but Hajime could feel the rage radiating off him. “I’m going to go and check on the others. Please don’t leave the cabin, I’ll bring back dinner for you.”

“Oh! I’m your little captive! I’m honoured! It’s not like I can  _ move,”  _ Komaeda said sweetly “Enjoy seeing the others, tell them I said hi” 

“Fine.” Hajime bit out. He wouldn’t. The others would completely lose trust in him if they found he was with the guy who threatened to blow up the whole island.

Shutting the door, the brunette trudged his way up to the diner, everyone else already inside. Hajime opened the door, everyone turning to face him

“Hinata!” Nevermind rushed up to him “We thought Komaeda had gotten to you!” 

“I’m fine. Sorry, I wasn’t feeling well so I had to go back to my cabin.” Hajime said, grimacing

“You heard that the bombs were fake, right?” Kuzuryuu cut in “The bastard tricked us, and now he’s god knows where.” 

“Yeah. I knew about the bombs, Nanami told me” Hajime left out the obvious detail that Komaeda was holed up in his cabin. 

“He also made a really creepy fucking video. Asked us to go into the warehouse to see his ‘final creation’ or whatever. We went in there and it was empty. There was blood on the floor, a knife and a spear. It was majorly fucked. It was like he’d set up a murder or something and hadn’t gone through with it” Kuzuryuu explained “We were pissing ourselves because we couldn’t find you and thought he’d… yeah.”

  
“Sorry. I had to leave” Hajime half-lied

“You feeling better though?” Souda asked

“Not really. I was planning on just grabbing dinner and going back to my cabin. I feel like shit.” That wasn’t a lie. Hajime legitimately felt like he was about to throw up or pass out, everything feeling leaden

“You look it too.” Kuzuryuu said helpfully 

Nanami wordlessly tugged on Hinata’s wrist

“We went to Komaeda’s cottage, just to check for him. There was a book… You need to read it too… I think.” The pink-haired girl said, handing him a book “Everyone else has.”

“Alright… should I read it now?” Hajime felt curious enough that the sick feeling let up slightly 

“Yeah.” Souda nodded “It’s worth taking a look at.” 

“Fucker ripped out some of the pages. He wasn’t wrong though, you’re talentless.” Kuzuryuu said gruffly as Hajime flipped through the pages, seeing what Kuzuryuu meant. Honestly, as shit Hajime felt, he had the feeling that Komaeda hadn’t been wrong, and he felt too unwell to really react. 

“Okay.” He said blankly, “I’m gonna grab dinner and go now. Thank you Nanami.” Hajime bowed slightly, feeling hollow.

“Stay safe, Hinata-kun. Talent doesn’t matter nearly as much as it seems to, I think.” Nanami said, her gentle voice doing nothing but increasing Hajime’s exhaustion.

The only upside of this was that it wasn’t an act, so going over and getting a plate, Hajime filled it up with food, nodding as he left. He’d lost his appetite.

Opening his door, Komaeda was sitting up in bed, neck snapping towards the brunette when he came in, the remaining sunlight shafting through the shutters onto his face. Without the knowledge that Hajime had now, he might’ve even said Komaeda was pretty, though it took one look at the bandages on his arms to remind him of what had happened earlier that day.

“Hello.” Komaeda said, blinking slowly

“I brought food.” Hajime gave Komaeda the plate. It had a few sandwiches on it and a collection of other things that wouldn’t fall off easily

“A peace offering? How wonderfully  _ kind  _ of you” Komaeda drawled, sarcasm dripping off his voice

“Just eat it. I don’t care how much you hate me for saving your life.” Hajime scowled. Komaeda looked at him weirdly for a second, tilting his head slightly.

“I don’t hate you.” He asserted evenly 

“You certainly give off the impression that you do.” Hajime huffed

“I have very mixed feelings regarding you. I’m still trying to decide if you’re worth hating at all.” Komaeda simply said, Hajime fully ready fire back when- “It’s infuriating. I can’t help but still care about you, even after everything.”

“Huh?” This was more than confusing, Komaeda having the audacity to bite into his sandwich, smiling a little

“Go on, Hinata-kun, take a sandwich. I accept!... your peace offering, that is” Komaeda nodded, his smile widening. The muddled boy couldn’t tell if it was chastising or genuine

Hajime was so completely lost that he ended up taking a sandwich, the two of them eating in complete silence, making eye contact once every few seconds. Hajime was attempting to process everything in general. Komaeda  _ cared about him?  _ He’d tried to kill himself, the teen couldn’t afford to forget that, and while the white-haired boy seemed so lively right now, the image of Komaeda tied up and bleeding out was still far,  _ far  _ too fresh in his mind. There was a very real possibility that they'd be out of a class trial by now, there was a very real and scary possibility that they’d all be dead, or with one less class member.

As dangerous and terrifying Komaeda was, Hajime felt some dull throb in a fundamental part of him at the idea of losing him. A part of the brunette just remembered the kind and insecure boy he’d met before all of this mess. The Komaeda Nagito that had helped him up off that beach, gave him understanding smiles, leading the confused Hajime around the islands and being endlessly patient and willing. The contrast between that boy and the hollow version he was speaking to now in itself felt like a loss.

Sometimes, Hajime wondered if the two of them could have been friends if Monokuma had never come and done this to them. Wondered if the white-haired boy would have remained that sweet person if given the chance to be in a peaceful setting. What if the boy now was some product of unfortunate circumstance and if he were given the right environment that he’d go back to being that person that Hajime had liked so much.

Some tiny, little part of him, desperately wanted to escape this place with everyone, and to watch Komaeda recover and then maybe Hajime would start seeing his friend again. Or at the very least parts of him. He hated that there was a sense of  _ mourning  _ thinking about the other boy when he was clearly still here. 

“Komaeda… I know I’m just a stupid talentless reserve course student, but I really want to understand why you did this to yourself. I… I really don’t want you to do it again. What if we can help”

The white haired boy looked at him for a second, seeming to consider the question

“You can’t help. Not with this. It’s not as though scum like me deserves it”

“That’s bullshit. You’re not scum. What do you even mean?”

“I don’t know if you recall the final dead room. I completed it, you know? I got the final prize” Komaeda laughed “The ultimate weapon.”

“What… was it?” Hajime asked “I read the book just then, but… there were pages missing. Komaeda… what did they say?” 

“Do you really want to know?” Komaeda’s eyes were getting that glazed look “Or would you rather to continue living in this blissful ignorance?”

Hajime looked at those glassy eyes and knew that whatever the other had found out had changed  _ everything.  _ Even being reminded of it made those swirling irises returning brought him back to the first trial.

“Tell me.”

Komaeda put his hand on Hajime’s shoulder, a smile crawling across that pale face, eyes filled with spirals. His grip was  _ tight.  _

“We are  _ despair. _ All of us.” Komaeda laughed “Every one of us gave into despair and became the people who  _ ended the world.  _ My goal, Hinata-kun, was to kill us  _ all”  _

The brunette was frozen, the only thing he could look at was the utter despair radiated off the other boy, grip growing tighter, hurting now

“All but  _ one.  _ Our traitor.” Komaeda giggled now “Our lovely little traitor. The only innocent in this mess. I wanted to set it up so that they would ultimately kill me, my luck would guarantee it.” A broken chuckle followed “How pathetic of me, to think that I could save us all from this disgusting plague by setting us free.”

Hajime couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, his thoughts muddy and confused, trying desperately to process what was just said. He wasn’t the traitor. He wasn’t innocent. Komaeda's intent had not just been suicidal, but with the intention to kill all of them. And, when it came to the lucky student, this made perfect sense. 

He had set it up to die, set it up for them to fail the class trial. It was a perfect plan. 

“I know what you’re thinking” The luckster’s smile somehow got larger, a flush growing on his face, leaning closer, almost whispering in the other’s ear “Please, Hinata-kun, I don’t  _ care  _ anymore, release me from this despair.”

“N-no…” Hajime whispered 

“You’re not the traitor, Hinata-kun, I know you’re not. You’re too  _ you.  _ A reserve like you could never be the traitor, and that  _ kills me. _ ” Komaeda almost gasped the last few words “ _ Please,  _ I can’t keep living knowing this, I can’t keep living knowing that I failed.”

Tears had started running down Komaeda’s face 

“I  _ failed,  _ Hinata-kun. I couldn’t do  _ one thing right.  _ I hate you, I hate everything.” More fractured laughs were forced out, and all Hajime could do was watch in silent mortification

“I hate how you’re so  _ good.  _ I hate how you made me reconsider this whole plan, if only for a few seconds. I hate more than anything that it was you that saved me. I hate how you won’t  _ allow me to die _ ” Komaeda’s grip was lessening now, his body overcome with emotions, sobs now wracking him. 

“I’m sorry.” Hajime said, his voice so broken and quiet that he wasn’t even sure that Komaeda could hear him

Komaeda’s hands left Hajime’s shoulders, now grasping at his wispy hair “Stop… stop it.” He moaned, breathing hard,

The brunette didn’t know if he was talking to himself or Hajime, clearly not entirely there as sobs continued to shake his frail body, indistinguishable mumbles coming from him every so often

Hajime wasn’t sure what made him do what he did next. He hadn’t even consciously registered that he was doing it, but the next moment he found his arms wrapped around the other boy, pulling him close, the white-haired teen freezing

“Why?” A tiny voice asked

“I-I don’t know. Just… cry it out, okay? It’s going to be okay” Hajime started gently stroking Komaeda’s hair, who proceeded to just start sobbing harder, arms going around the tanned-boy’s torso, hugging him tightly

They sat like that for what could have been minutes or hours, the tears making Hajime’s shirt damp, Komaeda grasping onto him like a lifeline as the brunette carded his fingers through the other’s hair. This was what was under everything, this was who Komaeda was. He was  _ broken _ .

Hajime had never held someone like this before, never touched someone in such an intimate way. Eventually, once the lucky student had eventually stopped crying so hard, Hajime withdrew, Komaeda’s ruddy face looking at him with still-sparkling eyes

“I don’t understand.” Komaeda said quietly “I’m awful, I’m disgusting, awful, scum who doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you all. I’ve treated you  _ terribly. _ Why are you… comforting me?” 

“I’ve never seen you cry like this.” Hajime just replied. He wasn’t sure why either. This guy had wanted to kill  _ all  _ of them, and he had just hugged him, like a  _ friend. _

Komaeda didn’t reply. He looked exhausted. More than exhausted, even. “I’m not worth it. I don’t even want to live through this. I never expected to make it this far” Another broken laugh “Even if I make it out of here, I’m going to die soon anyway, so what’s the point”

So he hadn’t been lying. He really was sick, terminally so

“I…” Hajime felt his face grow hot “Komaeda… I don’t want you to die. Not right now.” he swallowed “Live for a better future. I don’t care what happened in the past, when we were in despair, or whatever that was. You can have a future, we all can” Now it was Hajime’s turn, angry tears trying to get past his lashes

“I-- I don’t-”

“I’m so fucking scared.  _ Don’t _ try this again. I don’t give a fuck about the despairs thing. I care about my friend not  _ dying!”  _ Hajime nearly shouted the final words, pressing his face into his fists

“Hinata…-kun…” Komaeda seemed so shocked that he couldn’t get out anything but Hajime’s name, falling silent. They both sat there for a few seconds, or maybe it was minutes. Everything from both sides had been laid entirely bare, the only noise being both of their panting breaths, once overcome with emotion, now so hollow. 

Hajime had called Komaeda his friend. The question he was now asking himself was  _ which  _ Komaeda did he mean it to. Then he internally slapped himself. There was no different Komaeda, there wasn’t multiple. There was only one of him, and even though each mood of his seemed so drastically different, seeing him so helplessly speechless in front of him, shadowed eyes wide, all of them formed into the same broken individual. Was this person Hajime’s friend? Someone so volatile and outwardly dangerous, a terrifying intellect boiling underneath every move he made. 

The brunette wasn’t sure. But he cared deeply about what happened to this unstable boy, and had no idea why.

“I’m going to sleep.” Hajime eventually said, having nothing else left. 

“Okay.” Komaeda replied, voice husky as he shuffled over to the furthest side of the bed, tucking himself up in the covers. 

They lay there for a while. There was a bone-deep exhaustion that had overcome Hajime, but he couldn’t sleep, mind filled with indistinguishable chatter. Lying there, he could see the signature wisps of white hair, the other boy curled up. Hajime could tell he wasn’t asleep either. The brunette knew he should feel unsafe, or at the very least  _ uncomfortable  _ right now, but being in bed with Komaeda didn’t feel like that. Maybe because Hajime knew within himself, as a gut instinct, that the lucky student wouldn’t do anything tonight

Perhaps twenty minutes or so later, a small voice sounded

“Hinata-kun.” (Not Reserve-kun. Not talentless scum)

“Komaeda.” Hajime replied, his voice laced with exhaustion

“... You want me to live?” It was said like a question

“Yes.”

“How?”

Hajime frowned as Komaeda turned over, facing him now, “What?” The tanned boy asked

“How am I supposed to live? What do I do?” Komaeda sighed “Do I just wait until another swing of bad luck takes me? Do I continue to suffer until my body slowly does the job for me?” He shook his head

“No… that’s wrong. Indulge, do what you want to do. From what you’re telling me, there’s not much you have to lose. What do you want from life?”

The lucky student stayed silent for a few seconds, obviously pondering his answer“...I’ll think about that. Goodnight, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda said softly, and from what Hajime could see, he looked peaceful, though there wasn’t any happiness in his eyes ( _ not yet.)  _

“Goodnight Komaeda.” Hajime uttered in return, rolling over again and closing his eyes, though this time, the brunette felt something in his chest. It was just a spark, though it was distinguishable. In amongst all of the despair, every single awful thing that happened today, he had  _ hope.  _

Hope that maybe tomorrow, he’d wake up, Komaeda would be still there, and that everything will be just a little better.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Have a wonderful day and make sure to drink water n eat something! I love you! /p
> 
> (Apologies in advanced for any inconsistencies, I rewatched chapter 5 to write this but I'm not too sure if I got everything right, my bad!)
> 
> Come and talk to me on instagram! @yeetbixed


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